Dear Lincoln and Carver,

It has been awhile. I started working full time again and so my weekdays have been generally rushed and tiring. I truly hope when you are my age, society will have figured out the traffic/congestion problem. This driving is not sustainable by any means.

Since working full time, I feel like I’m watching the two of you grow through the lens of our home security camera. I watch in awe and absolute wonder that Carver is able to quietly sit at a table and color by himself. I’m astonished that Lincoln is able to peruse through a book and from the eyes of the camera, it seems as if he is understanding and comprehending a very complicated dinosaur book all by himself.

It’s like I have a schedule for my viewing times. I love watching Carver sleep but my heart aches when I see him in the bedroom alone, not yet ready to sleep, but not making much noise. I constantly worry about your social and emotional well-being since you are home all the time, but I’m put at ease by how fast you are developing.

At 4 pm, I know that is when Lincoln comes home. I love watching him bounce out of the car and walk with such confidence and independence towards the house after a long day of school. You are growing up so fast and becoming a very spunky little boy.

When I look back at this time, I wonder if I would look back at it with regret.  Regret that I did not get to see the two of you develop with my own two eyes (instead of through a camera) and help mold the two of you into the men I hope you would one day become. But there is one thing for sure, whether it is through the lens of a camera or through my own eyes, I see how the two of you are creating your own individual personalities, and I couldn’t be more proud.