Dear Lincoln and Carver,

When it comes to sleep, the two of you are like night and day. Oil and water. Peanut butter and jelly. It is so easy to put Lincoln down. So easy. Carver, on the other hand, not so much.

If there is one thing that I have failed to do as a mother, it is teaching Carver how to properly go to sleep. For the last two night in a row in order to get Carver to sleep I have had to feed him a food pouch, in the bedroom, in the dark. Carver, honey, if you have this habit of eating a substantial meal before you go to sleep at night. I’m sorry. It was part of your night time routine.

Just now, I fed you a Cheesy Veggie pouch. You seem to like it. You also want to hold the pouch yourself and suck the food out. That is totally fine by me, however, sometimes you miss and pureed food goes everywhere… like just now. At least you’re asleep.

Dear Lincoln and Carver,

I have started to potty train Lincoln. I’m thinking, there has to be a better way. Potty training involves putting you boys on a small potty that is basically a bucket. After you do your business, not only do I have to clean you up, I have to clean up the bucket! It smells. It never smells like rainbows and butterflies. The smell of newborn baby poop has been long gone. It is now full on toddler poop. I’ve tried putting you on the toilet over a smaller toilet contraption so that the poop goes directly into the toilet. You don’t seem to respond well to it. You have done really well with the bucket. I’m thinking, there has to be a better way. Today, I realized that there is no better way.

Daddy’s Aunt Amy passed away this morning. I really like her. She was always very welcoming and whenever there was a big family gathering, it seemed as if all the family was always gathered at her place and she always made it fun.  She had a stroke about four years ago. It was really sudden and surprising for me because she seemed so healthy and vivacious. She was dancing up a storm at our wedding and having the time of her life. It seemed as if she knew how to have fun and enjoy life. She had a certain air of confidence about her. I think its because she was the oldest of all the siblings so she had to exude an “I have my shit together,” personality.

We went to go visit her and in her small bedroom I saw a potty. It’s basically the same one you are using, accept it doesn’t sit on the floor and it’s just slightly bigger. Because of her stroke, she has to pee and poop in that bucket and someone has to clean it up. When I saw the potty I thought how life really is full circle. You start off as a baby using the potty and you end your life, also using the potty.

Uncle Leo, her husband, talked about how sometimes if she won’t poop, he would have to massage the poop out. I’ve done the same thing for both of you.  Life is fragile and remember that it goes full circle.

Love, Mom.

Dear Carver,

Today you learned how to wave “hello” and “goodbye”. You went to your first playdate at Griffith Observatory. I think you had fun. What you really liked doing was waving “hi” to all the hikers that were going up the hill. I thought it was a fluke and you were just waving your arms, however, tonight, when I said “wave goodbye to Lincoln and daddy,” you actually waved! Amazing!

I don’t think Lincoln waved until he was a little past one years old. You’re also starting to stand while holding onto something. It is amazing how you are growing up so fast.

I really enjoyed going out with just you today. I’m going to try to make it a once a week type of thing until I go to work full time.

Loves and Kisses,

Mom.

Dear Lincoln and Carver,

I signed the both of you up for swim lessons this summer. It’s quite tiring because I have to go in with you, but I also wish I signed Lincoln up sooner. It seems as if Carver is doing a lot better at swimming than Lincoln is. I think it’s because Carver is smaller and younger and doesn’t really have the “fear” aspect in him yet. Lincoln seems to get bored after 15 minutes.

Carver is also having constipation problems. His bowel movements are really hard. I think I’m going to try the Windi tomorrow and see how that goes. Poor baby. It’s so hard for him to poop and eat.

Lincoln is doing a lot better at preschool. I keep on asking him if he likes school, he always shakes his head no, but I think he’ll like it soon enough.